I'm learning to cherish...

Sweetie's art work. 

Received a message from my support group's leader with a sad message. One of our members had lost his wife. They had been suffering with Alzheimer's for the past 15 years. She had been in a care facility for the past 6 years, and because of the pandemic, he hasn't been able to be with her for the past 2 years. 

His message was simple. There will be a time of mourning, and as he said, the group has shown him that there is life after death. He will be returning to the group as soon as he can. 

In the short time I've been with this group of men, I've seen this played out a number of times, and the other side of the story too. The one where the husband passes first. The odds are in my favor to outlast Sweetie, good, but not for certain. 

This is a reminder of how long this journey can last. Sweetie was diagnosed just over 5 years ago, and she was showing signs for years before. She retired at 65 because of her memory loss, which we didn't know that it was Dementia at the time. Now she is 76, soon to be 77 in two months, which means we may have many more days on the Road to Dementia Town. I'm learning to cherish each and every one of them. 

Friday

Not much on the schedule for today. So, it is a lazy, smooth morning for us. 

Sweetie seems uncomfortable in bed and is squirming around. When I get her up, I understand what is going on. She has soaked her pullups, shirt and top sheet. So, now it is wet and cold for her to lay there. 

So, she is eager to get up, and get out of the coldness of the bed. 

After that, she is more than willing to get clean and dressed. She is helping herself get dressed. Beginning with letting her put her shirt on with as little help from me. 

With breakfast done, we head for the course. Like I said yesterday, because I had a great game yesterday, I was hoping for another one today. That didn't happen. My ego wanted a better than yesterday game, my expectation didn't allow me to relax and enjoy the round. Golf is so much like life; you have to take the good with the bad. I have to look at the peak I just came down from as a true sign that my game is getting better. The better it gets, the higher my lows are. 

If I keep looking at life with Sweetie the same way as my golf game, knowing that there are good days ahead, and not so good days along with them, I can do this in a loving manner. Knowing that no matter how we live out these remaining days, there is heart ache awaiting me at the end. Knowing this, I also know she is worth it. 

It is cold for Sweetie today. Low temps and a breeze. But she is a trooper. Me and her, snuggled up against each other in the golf cart. Going from hole to hole, me playing, her walking with me. Her with the sniffles, and me with a tissue wiping her noise, we finish our game. 

Get her home where it is warm and she can relax and warm up. After lunch, it is out to the hardware store. I have a burned-out light to replace and antenna wire to buy. 

End up going to two different stores, which is a story all in itself, but I won't go into that now. Getting what I need, back to the house we go. 

Here it is a good thing. For Sweetie wants to take a nap, and I have these chores to do. With gusto, I get both done, and both work as expected. I'll give myself a gold star for the day.

We ended our day by going to a meeting and then home for bed. In the meeting, she would wonder off if I wasn't paying attention to her, again. She used to wander a lot about two years ago, and she was a handful then. Now, all I have to do is get her attention, call her name, and she will come back to me, most of the time. Otherwise, I just call and take her hand and get a look of, "Oh, there you are." and she returns to my side.

Home, and garage door raises on command, we drive right in. Get her in the house. Get ready for bed, and snuggling, holding hands, say our thanks for the day. We let sleep come to us. 

Driver was busy skirting the extra traffic on the Road to Dementia Town today. There was some construction on the side of the highway, and it added to the traffic. That was fine, for we navigated through it and all the time, we Kept Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.