Another easy day.

Thankful

We are. Still thankful, or at least I am. For I still have her with me. Every now and then, I think of those days that are ahead, and ponder what life will be like. 

One of the best ways for me to think about it is, my support group. For those that have been through that which I am going through, seeing the new adventure that is awaiting me, makes me long and regret at the same time. 

Times are good, and I've accepted them for what they are, life. I'm doing my best to make lemonade. It is the bitter sweet that can either improve or overwhelm the cookie dough. 

Monday

I am using a new way to wake Sweetie, doing it in stages. First a "Good Morning." and open the drapes to let is some sunshine. A second time, to talk to her, check her bed for wetness, and then the third and final time. 

Up and let's get the day going. Bathroom duties are done, she is still constipated. 

For breakfast, I'm trying prune juice and brain cereal. She is eating well. She finished her breakfast, and I'm doing my morning thing. Make the bed, start some laundry, running low on sheets, dishes, and get ready for the day myself. 

Today is golf day, so we get ready for the outside. The weather report is for cool temps and light breezes. Need to dress Sweetie accordingly. 

Today, I'm taking her coat with us. Plan on putting it on her when we get to the course, that way, she will get warm wearing it, not be warm, and then cool down when she is outside with me. It did work well, for she wasn't shivering like she has in the past. 

Met a threesome on the first tee, and asked if we could join them. They had no problem with me playing along, and so we had a good game and conversation along the way. 

After the game, of course it is home for lunch. When we get home, time to check her undies to see how she is doing. It is a good thing, for there is evidence of some action. Sitting her down, and the timing is just right. Oatmeal, brain, and prune juice came into action. Success. 

After lunch, I put her down for a nap. It is when I went to get her up, she wouldn't budge. When this happens, all I can do is let her sleep. 

When she does get up, it is time for dinner, and to head out to our Monday meeting. Meeting done, we, of course head home for dessert, TV and bed. 

Had another easy day on the Road to Dementia Town. For the sun was shining, the sky was blue, and we were Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.    

 

Love is raining down...

Oldest daughter and husband.

There is something going on here that cannot be seen. I believe that it is a change in heart. You see, this was the first Thanksgiving when all the of Sweetie's children are sitting at one table in a very long time. You can't see it, and that is the wonder of it all. 

The girls have been feuding for years. I don't know if apologies were ever offered, or accepted. At one time they were the best of friends. Then poof, it was over. They were next door neighbors for many years, and didn't even say "Hi" or a "Hello". I have my ideas on who extended the feud, but that is for another time. 

Yesterday, received a text from #1 daughter. She wants to have a "Soup Sunday". Durning the winter months, on the first Sunday of the month, a get together at her home for a mug or a bowl of homemade soup. (She is a gifted cook.) I think it is her way of a peace offering to her sister, and a time to break bead, and work out the future. Anyway, I love the idea, and responded with a "We'll be there.". 

Sunday

Sweetie is being very resentful about getting up. She doesn't want to move, and the more I try, the harder she resists. As on now, it is more to get her out of the wet bed and into some clean clothes. 

With the bed being as wet as it is, it tells me that I'm getting enough liquids into her. It is when the bed is dry, and her pad is dry, then I know I need to pump water into her. 

Being that it is Sunday, which means shower day. Lately, she had been less inclined to help when it comes to me getting her to do what is needed to keep her clean. So, with a clam voice, and gentle urging, we get into the shower. She is doing her best to stay calm, for I think she knows what I'm doing, but she doesn't like it. I don't know how much longer we will be showering together, for she isn't willing at all to get wet. 

I'm thinking that I may shuffle the routine a bit. Maybe shower after breakfast, after her CBD has kicked in. Will keep that in mind for next week. 

Being that it is Sunday, and with really nothing planned. I make a shopping list, and get Sweetie ready to go with me, we head for Walmart. 

There isn't that much to get, along with a few extras, we are done, and head home. 

Home, put away the groceries, Sweetie is getting anxious because I'm not holding her hand, this is her way of depending on me, and at the same time, feeling safe.  

Upon completion of the forementioned task, I pop a bag of popcorn, grab a root beer from the fridge, and we sit. This is the part of the day that Dementia can't take away. We are as normal as we will ever be. Just an old couple, watching movies, munching popcorn and saying nothing to each other. Love is raining down on us. 

I can tell that Driver is enjoying this day on the Road to Dementia Town. His shoulders are lower, and isn't studying the road for hazards. Of course, that makes is so easy to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur. 

   

Defiantly won't hurt.

Christmas Tree is up.

Put the tree up yesterday. Also put up our inflatable Nativity Scene, and light projectors. I wasn't in the most festive moods, so I did the minimum decorating. 

Sweetie wasn't able to understand what I was doing, and that didn't help with my joy of putting Christmas in the house. Plus, the fact that my legs are still bothering me, and I don't have the mobility I used to have. It is also the idea that after Christmas, I get to put all this stuff away. 

I remember the joy we had getting Christmas out. Opening all the boxes, getting her Santas out, decorating the tree, on the bulbs and lights. Whether we had all white or color lights, where to put the tree, and all the fun that went into decorating the house. 

It is hard for me, to see her not pay any attention to what is happening, and that only adds to my depression this year. We will soon begin watching Christmas movies, for there are enough of them on all the streaming stations. I will do my best to help her have a good Christmas this year. 

Saturday

It is my early caregiver day. She comes around 9 in the morning. It gives me more time away from the house, and I haven't gotten Sweetie up. 

I'm busy with Sweetie when the caregiver is at the front door. My attitude was to have Sweetie all cleaned and fed by the time they showed up. Now, I get done what I can and leave her with them. Slowly oh so slowly, I'm turning the care of Sweetie over to them. 

Watching her pour a bowl of cereal and put bananas on it, I shudder. For it isn't the amount I give her, but it works for her, so I leave it alone. 

I used to be a controller and a perfectionist, which means that my way is the only right way to do something. Now, if it gets Sweetie to do something, and it isn't the way I'd do it, that is OK too. 

It is a beautiful day on the links today. I'm able to work on my game as I play. Most of the work is on the putting greens. When I missed a putt, I'd do it over and over until I was able to sink the ball into the hole on one stroke. 

The highlight of the round, was to par the 6th hole. It is rated #1 hardest on the course. Came it in a blade of grass to birding the hole. Settled for a par. For me, I'll hang my hate on that one. 

When I got done, headed for the car thinking that it was time to relive my caretaker. It isn't, for my time piece is still set on daylight savings time. I found out I had more time. Tweety needs a bath, so I went looking for a non-brush car wash. 

Do you know how difficult it is to find one? There are self-serve carwashes, but all commercial carwashes use brushes and Chevrolet doesn't recommend them, can harm the paint. That means, for the next wash, I'm doing it at home, on the driveway. 

Home, and Sweetie and the sitter are watching TV, and all seems well. 

After she leaves, it is time for me to get up into the attic and get the decorations down. It took about 2 hours to get it all set up, and, in my opinion, it is Christmas in our house. 

Sweetie had gone to her nest for a nap and I finished the tree, and outside. When she got up, I was able to talk her into an outing in Tweety. 

We took a long way around, to the mall for our walk about. Then to Costco to fill up the tank. We were out for about 2 hours, and when we came back, the lights were on and The Nativity Scene was up. It is still too early to see the projectors lights. I'll come out later and make any adjustment necessary for the projectors. 

For dinner, we are having oatmeal. Sweetie hasn't been active for a couple of days and this is my answer to help her along. We just might go on an oatmeal diet for a couple of days to see if it will help. Defiantly won't hurt. 

I'm sleeping on the couch, and it is time for us to head for bed. With Sweetie moving next to me, we lay down and let the end of the day come. 

Wasn't too hard for the driving today. Driver had an easy time of it. These are the days when the Road to Dementia Town seem lite and easy. Lite traffic, just staying in our lane and going down the road with Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.         

 

Soon all is well.

Us again.

It was one of those days. A day in which I didn't have too much confidence in what was going to happen. Because of this strange and never the same disease, it keeps me on my heels most of the time. Then again, there are the patterns of some resemblance of normalcy.

I've mentioned how there are times when she seems not affected by her Dementia. Where she will hold my hand, talk and answer my questions, or when we are walking, she will chime in. These are the good times with her. 

Then there are days like yesterday. Days when she is nonresponsive. She doesn't seem to know who I am, and will sit for hours staring at the TV, or out the window. When I can get her attention, she has a blank look on her face. 

When those times come, I am always afraid that she has slipped down to another level of her disease. I know they are coming, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to cope with the new Sweetie. 

Friday

This morning started well enough. Didn't have too much difficulties with getting her going. On the bright side, she didn't leak through her liner this morning. So, I didn't have to strip the bed or get another top sheet. 

She seemed "OK" this morning. All went well until she was done with breakfast, and I was trying to get her ready to come with me. She wasn't having anything to do with that idea. She kept slapping my hand away, and wouldn't budge. 

Thinking, "Here we go again." a time of what to do. Knowing that she is safe, thinking that she will get tired of sitting at the table, and then go to her nest, and when she is in one of these moods, there isn't anything I can do, except to let it play itself out.

On the course, I met and played with an older gentleman, who was a good golfer, and he smoked cigars. That is something that I cannot do, smoke and play. I quit smoking many years ago and that is something that I wasn't able to do. 

Had a good round, some good shots, some pars, and one birdy. 

Back home, I found Sweetie sitting at the table where I left her. That is something new. When I spoke to her, I get this blank stare, "Who are you?" stare. 

I have to become the strong person to get her off the chair. Once she is moving, she follows. In the bathroom, she is acting very tired. Finished it is nap time. 

The nap was just what the doctor ordered. I had a couple of errands to run, so off I went. When I returned, she was still sleeping. She slept for over two hours and when she got up, she was more her old self. 

It seemed safe enough for us to head for the mall and our walk about. It was when we got to the mall, I remembered that it is "Black Friday", and the mall is very crowded. Undaunted, we head in and did our walk about. 

In the car, she is holding my hand, singing Christmas carols that are playing on the radio, and all seems well. 

At one point she gets irritable, refuses to take her CBD, and I know that is the time she needs it. Again, playing the parent, I get her to take it. Soon all is well. 

We finished our night, and went to bed. When I crawled in with her, she was right there, holding my hand, and pressing herself against me. Prayers, kiss, and let sleep overtake us. 

It was a bumpy day on the Road to Dementia Town. Driver was able to find as many smooth parts as He could. It wasn't too bad, and as I watched the bumps and potholes head our way, I knew we would find that stretch of road where we would be able to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.         

 

The perfect lady.

Thanksgiving 2021

Being that it was Thanksgiving, I wanted Sweetie to wear something special. I got her special hat to wear. It was just right for the occasion. It beat wearing baseball caps. Think I'll have her wear it more often now for when we go out. 

It is when we are at these family gatherings, that I have a need to pay special attention to her. At one point in the meal, she picked up the gravy, and was about to take a sip out of it, as if it was a cup of coffee. I had to move quickly to take it away from her, and move it down the table from her. Out of sight, out of mind. 

While doing all of this, I would like to be able to have my time with the group. I feel that I can't fully engage in the conversation, for I have to keep vigil with what she is up to. It seems as long as I keep food on her plate, she is happy, and when she is happy, I'm happy. 

Thursday

We have a busy day ahead of us, so I want to make as sure as I can, that Sweetie is rested. 

When I go in, she looks up and smiles. Then the first hurdle come up. She doesn't want to get up. That is fine, for it is still early and I have other things to do. 

When I went back to get her the second time, I won't take "No" for an answer. With my instance, she is up. Because of her not wanting to get up, she is out of balance for a little bit. Holding on to her, she soon regains her balance. 

Today, I give her a sponge bath while she is on the potty. Because she doesn't have a dirty bottom, it makes more sense than a shower this morning. 

Wanting her to look her best, I again, get out her long sleeve pink shirt and pants. Marvelous, simple marvelous she looks. 

I am bringing yams to the feast. Having never made them before, I do what I think will work best. Draining the juice from them, into a glass pan, sprinkle pecans on, finish with butter and brown sugar. Pour some juice back in, and into the oven at 350 for about a half hour. 

So far, so good. Now to get Sweetie her breakfast. She is drinking her coffee without hesitation, and so I better get her cereal ready. 

Cereal, OJ, and toast for her, and while she is eating, I'm making the bed, doing a load of laundry, and getting myself ready to go. 

Because of the time we have on our hands, we head for the course. Nothing like a cool fall day with blue skies to be on the links. Bundle Sweetie up in my attempt to keep her warm. Her right hand is atrophying into a fist which she cannot open. I put a glove on her left hand, and put a sweat sock on her right. It works and her hands keep warm. 

Back home, we have a lite lunch, for the Thanksgiving meal is only hours away. In the meantime, I attempt to finish the yams. Putting them back in the oven, with the broiler on, I wait for them to warm up. Well, then ended up getting the pecans too warm, and some of them were burnt. 

Pulling them out, covered with marshmallows, and back in they went. That was my big mistake, because I got busy with Sweetie, and when I got back, the marshmallows looked like campfire marshmallows. Too bad, took them anyway. I think only Sweetie and myself had any of them. They turned out pretty good after all. If I do this again next year, I won't make as us as I did this year. Plus, I have some experience in what to do. 

After we got home, we had one more outing to make. I let Sweetie take a nap, a good and bad thing. When I went back to get her, she was very confused as to where she was, what she was doing, and who I was. 

The only thing I could do was to guide her to get ready to go. Giving her a dose of CBD, we headed out to our last outing of the day. 

It turned out to be a very good meeting, there were four of us, and we had a lively share time. The only reason for us to be there, is that the holiday season is hard on some people that don't have anywhere to go, and we offer support for them. 

Meeting over, head for home and bed. Sweetie is ready, and into bed she goes and I soon follow. 

It was the best day I could have hoped for. Sweetie was the perfect lady this day, as we headed down the Road to Dementia Town. Giving thanks for our driver, the time on the road, and the ability to Keep Our Shiny Side Up, no matter what. C'ya, Luv Ya and I hope you all had a very good Thanksgiving. God Bless you until tomorrow.  Arthur.       

 

Beans, beans that magical fruit.

Having a good day.

Having a good day. From the time this picture was taken, to today, the phrase "Having a good day." means something different than it did back then.

Back then, a good day was conversations, joking, taking a stroll, and maybe even making love at the end of the day. Today, a good day is not fighting when I try to help her, to listening to her Dementiaies, trying to understand what she is saying, to walk abouts. A good day could just mean we made it from wake up to slumber time.

Part of having a good day, is for me each day starting out in my understanding that this isn't my wife, it is my Sweetie Pie. For she stopped being my wife years ago. She is now the vessel that used to be her, and it is my responsibility to care for this vessel. It isn't her fault that she is the way she is, and I have to remember that each and every day. I have no choice in this matter. 

I know that I can do this, because I have a Higher Power guiding my steps. It is with His Grace and Mercy that I carry on each and every day.

Wednesday

Beans, beans, that magical fruit

The more you eat, 

the more you toot.

OMG! We have a mess this morning. It seems that beans are the magical beans within Sweetie. Last Saturday, my caregiver told me of the mess she made, and the clean-up she had to do. Well, I got to experience it firsthand.

From her waist down, in her pants, on the sheets, and covers. Knowing that it isn't her fault, and knowing that the sooner I get her in the shower and start the clean-up, the sooner it will be over. 

Sweetie doesn't understand what is happening, and by the look on her face, she just doesn't know how it got on her. It doesn't matter the how or what it is, all that matters is getting her clean, and cleaning up the rest. 

When I got a chance to think about what happen this morning that the other morning, the only thing in common is having beans for dinner. So, from now on, when she gets bound up, we will have beans for dinner, and I'll adjust the amount of intake to see if I can moderate the output. 

It rained last night, a good soaking rain. Not a hard down fall where the water just rushes to the street and out to the river. It was a nice rain that was just what we needed. There was also a dusting of snow on the Sandia's. Old Man Winter is knocking on the door.  

With the rain came colder temperatures. I'm concern for Sweetie, and will she be warm enough out on the golf course. That was answered by Sweetie herself. She is asleep at the table. She had a hard night, and isn't in anyway ready to go anywhere. In to bed with her, and I'm on my way to the course. 

By myself and with the course empty, I take the time to take some extra shots. This is a work on my swing and targeting and putting round. I did put together a couple of good holes, including a birdy on the 8th hole. 

The friend that I took for a ride yesterday, lost his phone in Tweetie, and I found it this morning. Do you know how difficult it is to get in touch with someone, when you have their phone? 

After making some calls, leaving messages, I waited for responses. It was later in the day, when his phone went off and made contact with his daughter. We made plans for them to come over and get his phone. 

In the meantime, Sweetie and me had dinner, watched our shows and when the time came headed for bed. 

It was another night of squirming for Sweetie. When it appeared that she wasn't going to go to sleep, and me not knowing what was the cause of her discomfort, I took a shot at what it could be. 

Took her to the bathroom, applied Prep H and some A&D, and back to bed where she quickly settled in and went to sleep. I soon followed her. 

Driver has a way of calming me. When it looked like the Road to Dementia Town was going to be a bumpy one, He found the way to smooth it out. It is just like Him to find the best lane possible for us, as we travel, Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.             

A wonderful life together.

The 'stash. 

I liked this picture so much, that I printed it out. What came out isn't what you see here. The color cartage was out, and so, the picture came out black and white. Which made it extra special and now hangs in my room. 

When I printed it out, I also cropped the picture to where it is more of a close up of just us. As I look around my room this morning, I have pictures of us from our first year of marriage, to the more recent ones of us. We've had a wonderful life together. 

I heard a preacher once say, that our lives are being woven into a tapestry and we can only see the backside of that tapestry. For it isn't until we are called home, do we get to see the other side of it. For now. all I get to see is a vague glimpse of what is on the other side.

I know that there are good things on it, for I can see the gold and silver threads hanging off the cloth. At the same time, there are blues, yellows, and reds in it as well. I know that there are the dark times there too. For if there weren't any dark times, there wouldn't be any bright times. For to get a better understanding of the good, need to counterbalance it with the bad. Contrast is the divining difference. 

Thursday

Have an appointment at the VA this morning. Sweetie's caregiver is coming so I can do this on my own. So much easier and faster when I can leave Sweetie home, and be on my own, too. 

Knowing that parking at the VA is at a premium, I start my prowling for a parking spot. There are times when you can drive around forever looking for someone to pull out and I can pull in. 

Years ago, I came up with a plan. Drive up to the hospital, watch and see a vet walking back to the parking lot, ask if they would like a ride back to their car and it works for me. The easiest way to get a parking space.

Today, the person I asked, of course I was in Tweety, said that his parking space was the third on the left. Wonderful, except it is a handicap parking spot, drats. As I pull around the turn, a car from the second spot was pulling out. Down came the window, a smile, and "I like your car." came out. A better parking spot then the first, but if I hadn't tried the first, I wouldn't have this one. God is Good. 

Have a new dermatologist, to a surprise to me. I like her. She is perky, bubbly, and fun. Then I hear words I haven't heard in a long time. "Take off your hat, shirt, and lay down." OMG, my sense of humor kicks in, and we chuckle about it. 

There are times when I wonder, where does that personality come from and where does it go. I can be the funniest person in the room at certain times, and then if I force it, it comes out all wrong. 

While I'm in Tweety, I can begin to understand how women feel when men watched them walk by. I watch others as I drive by and see everything from no response to taking pictures of us. Some of it is wanted, then again, it is "Go away, you bother me."

Off to the course, started out by myself, and ended up with another twosome. I play with so many different people, and this is one person I haven't played with in a couple of years. It was nice to finish the round in company. Even birdied the last hole. 

In the parking lot, ran into some other golfers that I recently played with. They had spotted Tweety and was wondering if I was still on the course. I was greeted when I returned by them, and one asked "You need to give me a ride in this." Wish was granted. I had time, so, into the car, out of the parking lot, and around the block we went. 

Afterwards, when I got home, Sweetie was on her nest. She was happy I was home, and yet it took some time for her to come out and be with me.

By the way she hugged me, I could tell she missed me. It wasn't a day I normally leave her alone and she missed me. 

We had some shopping to do, so off we went. She did a good job at the store, even waited for me by the cart while I looked for things on our list. 

It was a little rough when we got back home. Like a hangover, she just wasn't herself. I think she was still processing her emotions for me being gone. 

It wasn't until we went to bed that the uneasiness of her emotions came into play. She just couldn't relax and go to sleep. After an hour, I had to do something. Up and get the CBD and stress relief lotion. It worked, and we were able to let sleep come over us. 

Had some good things happen today on the Road to Dementia Town. Driver took a turn that seemed to head nowhere, and to my amazement, it opened up to a beautiful view. So, the day went. With all the normal too and frows, we made our way, Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.      

Lucky isn't my first or second name.

Sweetie's Tree.

This picture of the tree is many years ago. It is much bigger now, yet at this time of year, it's size only magnifies the change it is going through this time of year. 

This tree will be a reminder, a tribute to Sweetie. She has changed me so. I will never be able to look at it and not remember her. 

It isn't even the coldest part of the year, for winter is still some time away, and I yearn for spring. 

As the change in the seasons drains the color from everything, life itself seems colorless. Sweetie never liked the winter, for it is baren and cold. It is only when the snow comes and covers the nakedness of winter, is there beauty in the land. 

As with the change of the seasons, so I, too, change into one more day lived and gone. What did I see? What did I do to gain a new look on life? Will tomorrow be a joy or sorrow? It is up to how I will look at it. Seeking only to find the Easter Eggs hidden there. 

Monday

Seeing that Sweetie is awake and there isn't any real reason not to get her up, into the room we go. 

Trying to talk to her before taking the covers from her and getting her up helps her get out of bed easier. This morning she seems persistent in not giving up her covers. 

As I get them off, I see why. She has pulled her pullup down. This time, instead of putting them back on and walking her to the bathroom, I take them off. They were going to be removed anyway, so why not now. 

Like every morning, once I get her out of bed, hold her until she gains her balance, we head out of the room. 

This morning, her hemorrhoid isn't getting any smaller. It is getting softer, but isn't shrinking like I think it should. Checking the expiration date, it is 6 years past it. Something else goes on the shopping list. As of now, it is better than nothing, so until we go shopping, will continue to use it.

Before I went to get Sweetie up, cooked up some oatmeal. Good old oatmeal, the breakfast of my younger days. This way, when we came out to eat, it was ready to serve. 

It was a treat for a change. I like to serve it with butter and brown sugar. 

Sweetie started eating it eagerly, and seemed to be enjoying it. She is also enjoying the coffee that I have waiting for her. Serve the coffee with Sweet Italian Cream in it, again, she likes it. 

Breakfast done, off to the course we go. It is cool these days, and with a long sleeve shirt, a sweat shirt, and jacket, Sweetie is dressed for the day. She has a runny nose, so I'm now taking extra Kleenex with us to, well you know. 

My golf partner called to let me know his son and grandson will be joining us this morning. So, in our foursome we'll have 3 generations of golfers. Neat.

Had a so-so day on the course. Ran a string of 4 pars in a row, that was good for me. Still no confidence in my putting and if I could get it, I'd be stringing more pars together. Oh well, that's golf for you. 

Today is the day to replace the headlight on our little Captiva. Watching the video, it was only 11 minutes long. I told myself, that it would take me an hour, if I was lucky. Well, let me put it this way, Lucky isn't my first or second name. Even had to make a second trip to the parts store.

It turns out I didn't need to make the trip; it was simply that there are two bulbs and I took out the wrong one. 

The trip wasn't without its high point. Ran into an old workmate that I haven't seen in years. He had lost so much weight, that I didn't recognize him. 

He had heard about my Corvette, and as it was, I had drove to the parts store. Showed it to him, did some catch up time, and headed home to finish the light installation. 

Done, and it works. That is good enough for me. So, next time the other light goes out, I'll know what to do, for I am now a trained light replacement expert. 

The day ended with TV, dinner, and a meeting. It was a good day. 

Driver was on His toes today. Keeping us on the straight path today. I didn't have any temper tantrums when the rough parts of the pavement came about as we traveled down the Road to Dementia Town.  Keeping in mind that I'm not in charge, we were able to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.  

       

Yep, and yep and off we go.

Me and grandma.

As we edge closer and closer to that big turkey day, we also edge closer to Christmas. This is a reminder that I need to start taking some more photographs of Sweetie. 

The leaves on the trees have turned to rust and are now being scattered all about. Walking outside you can see how they are now decorating the street and yards in the neighborhood. I'm still waiting for the tree in the backyard to lose its leaves, then I'll get the leaf muncher out and clean them up. Until then, I will watch how God will decorate the yard. 

Sunday

Because of Sweetie's not sleeping last night, I'm letting her sleep in. She isn't moving, so to me, it means that she needs the sleep. 

It is 11 and time for me to get her up. If I don't, she won't be able to sleep tonight. In I go, and she isn't as hard to wake as I thought she'd be. 

Up, washed, dressed and out for breakfast. Or should I say brunch? It is more breakfast than anything else. It is my potato, spam, egg and cheese morning. 

The only thing on the calendar is our walk about at the mall, so off we go. 

Because it is the start of the Christmas season, there are more people in the mall, along with the arts and craft people selling their wares. It is good to see all the people out. 

Stop at the popcorn stand and talked with the lady. Sweetie is eager to talk to her. This is the first time that she has acted this way. The lady is so sweet to her, holding her hand, and listening to her babble, trying to have a conversation with her. It touches my heart so. I told her that she must feel very comfortable around her, otherwise she wouldn't say a thing. 

When we finish and head for home, I remember that I have a headlight out, and head for the auto parts store. Purchase the light, go home to get on YouTube to see what awaits me. 

I've got all that I need except a #10 socket. So, using this as a reason, I call my son, who I know has the tools I can borrow. 

Yep, and yep and off we go. We get Tweety out for this trip across town. No sooner do we get there, that we have to leave, a very short visit, but I have what we came for. 

Because I'm in no big hurry to get the job done, I postpone the repair until tomorrow, after golf and our walk about. 

Sunday is our pasta night, used small shells this time. Same sauce, used the last of the sausage, have to put it on my list for next time shopping. 

Sweetie and me have a good evening, dinner, dessert, and a movie. Punch Line, with Sally Fields and Tom Hanks. Wasn't as funny or good as I was expecting. Anyway, it got us through the evenings. 

Bedtime, prayer time, and to sleep we go. 

Driver was more than happy to get a late start. He knew that we needed the extra relaxation time. Once on the Road to Dementia Town, He kept us entertained. His driving is superb, as you would expect. We had a few extra stops today, which was a nice break for us. Today it was easy to Keep Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur.     

 

Blessed Sleep.

Tickets to the Lion King.

Found this, and thought I'd use it to start my story today. We didn't go to too many live theater productions, for, at that time, our budget wouldn't allow us that luxury. Shortly after my retirement, our cash flow improved. With that improvement, along came the ability to do these things. 

When I heard that The Lion King was coming to town, I got tickets for us to see it. Sweetie loved the movie, so why not see a live performance? At this time, she was still able to express herself, and let me know, how she felt. 

It is all just a memory now, a very nice memory at that. She talked about it for days, and told everyone she knew what a great time we had. 

As I talked about the death of one of our support group's wives, it is a constant reminder of what is still awaiting us in the future. We still have many days left, and with those days, my joy will be making more memories for me.

Saturday

It is my day off. The caregiver is coming and instead of getting Sweetie up, like I normally do, letting her sleep. After all, isn't that why I hired her in the first place? To give me a break of caring for her myself? 

When my caregiver arrives, she has brought her twin daughters with her. It makes me happy that we are becoming a family, don't tell her that. 

I let her know, that Sweetie is still asleep, and I was letting her sleep in. Before I leave, we go in and wake her up, letting her know I'll be out for some time, but her friend is here to keep her company. 

Clubs in the Corvette, and off I go. You know, it is such a difference in my attitude on the course. Before, I would be happy to score bogey golf, now, if I don't shoot under bogey, I'm disappointed. To have more good shots then bad, is an expectation. There are days when my mental expectation just over run my physical ability. But, then again, that is golf. 

When I get home, I'm greeted with a good/bad report about Sweetie. She had a large BM while she was in bed and another sitting on the potty. And like a child, she had it all over her, to the point her caregiver had to give her a shower from top to bottom. 

I was so happy to hear about her movements, and then how she ate after the cleanup. She was in good spirits when I got home. As you would expect after she was able to relieve herself. 

I was thinking about what may have caused her to have these cleansing movements. When I remembered that one of my followers mentioned different types of foods to help her go. Last night we had fried hot dogs and beans. A lot of beans. I'll keep that in mind if she seems to be getting bound up again. 

One other thing, when in the bathroom with her caregiver, she put her shoes in the toilet before the caregiver could stop her. Anyway, she washed the shoes, and let them air dry. Which meant that we ended up stay home for the rest of the day. 

Everything seemed fine, watching Pirates of the Caribbean, while we waited for the night to pass. 

When we went to bed, she seemed irritable, and restless. After 2 hours of her squirming, I thought I'd better get her in the shower and clean her up, for she must be uncomfortable after the earlier movement. With her resisting me, I was able to get her up and cleaned up. Putting A&D on her bottom, clean underwear, and back to bed she went, and quickly went to sleep. Blessed Sleep.  

You never know where you'll end up at the end of the day when you're on the Road to Dementia Town. When you start your day's journey, it seems so light and gay, and as the day goes on, there are troubles along the way. Seeing trouble, Driver steers around them, knows the detours, and takes caution to be safe. So it goes, each day from sun rise to sun set, Driver behind the wheel, we travel. Keeping our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.   Arthur. 

I'm learning to cherish...

Sweetie's art work. 

Received a message from my support group's leader with a sad message. One of our members had lost his wife. They had been suffering with Alzheimer's for the past 15 years. She had been in a care facility for the past 6 years, and because of the pandemic, he hasn't been able to be with her for the past 2 years. 

His message was simple. There will be a time of mourning, and as he said, the group has shown him that there is life after death. He will be returning to the group as soon as he can. 

In the short time I've been with this group of men, I've seen this played out a number of times, and the other side of the story too. The one where the husband passes first. The odds are in my favor to outlast Sweetie, good, but not for certain. 

This is a reminder of how long this journey can last. Sweetie was diagnosed just over 5 years ago, and she was showing signs for years before. She retired at 65 because of her memory loss, which we didn't know that it was Dementia at the time. Now she is 76, soon to be 77 in two months, which means we may have many more days on the Road to Dementia Town. I'm learning to cherish each and every one of them. 

Friday

Not much on the schedule for today. So, it is a lazy, smooth morning for us. 

Sweetie seems uncomfortable in bed and is squirming around. When I get her up, I understand what is going on. She has soaked her pullups, shirt and top sheet. So, now it is wet and cold for her to lay there. 

So, she is eager to get up, and get out of the coldness of the bed. 

After that, she is more than willing to get clean and dressed. She is helping herself get dressed. Beginning with letting her put her shirt on with as little help from me. 

With breakfast done, we head for the course. Like I said yesterday, because I had a great game yesterday, I was hoping for another one today. That didn't happen. My ego wanted a better than yesterday game, my expectation didn't allow me to relax and enjoy the round. Golf is so much like life; you have to take the good with the bad. I have to look at the peak I just came down from as a true sign that my game is getting better. The better it gets, the higher my lows are. 

If I keep looking at life with Sweetie the same way as my golf game, knowing that there are good days ahead, and not so good days along with them, I can do this in a loving manner. Knowing that no matter how we live out these remaining days, there is heart ache awaiting me at the end. Knowing this, I also know she is worth it. 

It is cold for Sweetie today. Low temps and a breeze. But she is a trooper. Me and her, snuggled up against each other in the golf cart. Going from hole to hole, me playing, her walking with me. Her with the sniffles, and me with a tissue wiping her noise, we finish our game. 

Get her home where it is warm and she can relax and warm up. After lunch, it is out to the hardware store. I have a burned-out light to replace and antenna wire to buy. 

End up going to two different stores, which is a story all in itself, but I won't go into that now. Getting what I need, back to the house we go. 

Here it is a good thing. For Sweetie wants to take a nap, and I have these chores to do. With gusto, I get both done, and both work as expected. I'll give myself a gold star for the day.

We ended our day by going to a meeting and then home for bed. In the meeting, she would wonder off if I wasn't paying attention to her, again. She used to wander a lot about two years ago, and she was a handful then. Now, all I have to do is get her attention, call her name, and she will come back to me, most of the time. Otherwise, I just call and take her hand and get a look of, "Oh, there you are." and she returns to my side.

Home, and garage door raises on command, we drive right in. Get her in the house. Get ready for bed, and snuggling, holding hands, say our thanks for the day. We let sleep come to us. 

Driver was busy skirting the extra traffic on the Road to Dementia Town today. There was some construction on the side of the highway, and it added to the traffic. That was fine, for we navigated through it and all the time, we Kept Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.  

Life in that up and down mode.

Sailor, mom and grandma.

With the holidays coming, thought this was appropriate. Number 1 grandson is still in the Navy, and I hope that he is going to make a career out of it. 

He has been on sea duty from the time he graduated from bootcamp and is now going on to be an instructor as a shore duty station. As of now, he is just letting the Navy control his life. Which is good in many ways, because he doesn't know what he really wants to do. 

At least the Navy will keep him busy until he finds his own way. 

Isn't it silly of me to think that I know what is best for someone else then myself? It is just I see so much of me in him. He doesn't see that, so he can't hear what I say to him. For now, I just keep my mouth shut. Lead by example. 

Caring for Sweetie has rearranged my priorities. What a life lessons I learn daily. How to know when to push a point, and when not to. To know that everything isn't life changing, or life lifting. It is all just life and we live it the best we can. 

Thursday

I'm kicking myself in the butt again. Today is our bible study morning. I told myself to get Sweetie up 30 minutes early, so we don't have to rush to get there on time. 

I've lost all discipline to stop what I'm doing and start doing what needs to be done. As I did this morning. It was 9 when I got her up. That means we only have 45 minutes to get up, showered, dressed and fed. 

Very thankful that Sweetie is still in her good mood. Her cooperation is wonderful. So, with that in hand, we get all our needs fulfilled and head out the door. 

The garage door is acting up again. Don't have time to miss with it, so, it can wait. Still have other ways to open the door, so we are not locked out. 

To the church we go. To my surprise, we are not late. As a matter of fact, we are 10 minutes early. Which gives me time to grab a cup of coffee, sit down, and relax. 

Ask about next Thursday, for it is Thanksgiving, and will we be meeting? The answer is no, there will not be a meeting.

Study over, head for the golf course. I brought Sweetie's new jacket for her to put one. I knew it would be warm at church, and I didn't want her to overheat and then not want the jacket later. The plan worked without a hitch.

The course was empty and that was a shame. For it is a beautiful day. A little on the cool side which makes it great weather to be alive and playing. 

Started off by parring the first 4 holes, Then bogeys on the next 3, and finished with a par and bogey on the last two. My short game was on, and if my putting was as good, I may have shot even par for the round. Missed putts "by just that much.", as Maxwell Smart would say.

The problem with such a good round, is that I will want to duplicate it today, and that is the frustrating part of golf. What works yesterday, may not work today, and so it goes. Life in that up and down mode.

When we head home, I now have the time to see what I can do about the garage door. Knowing that everything works when close to the device, it is the distance that seems to be the problem. Try reprograming the cars, the pad, the opener itself all for not. 

Looking on the internet, the solutions are everything I did accept one. Extend the antenna. Seems simple enough. Buy some antenna wire, say 6ft of it, splice into the existing wire and spread it towards the street. So, that is my plans for today. 

With the sun setting and a meeting to head off to, time to get dinner. Sweetie has been a trooper all day. She is tired so she heads to her nest. Which is nice for me, then I can cook dinner and then go and get her. 

After dinner, we head to the meeting. There are only 2 other people joining us. Both are good friends and we have a good meeting, just what the doctor ordered. 

Upon getting home, I wait till we are very close to the garage before I push the button. It worked! In we go, and then into the house. 

Sweetie has been forgetting which way to go. I'll catch her at the rear of the car not knowing where to go. It is here that I'm glad I close the garage door before she gets out. Otherwise, I would be chasing her down the street. 

She seems to be wanting to wander more and more these days. Even in the meeting, if I wasn't paying attention, she will get up and head for the door. It is getting scary when she does that. 

We get home, get her ready for bed, and there we are. In bed, and she says her prayers that only God knows what she is praying. For He understands Dementiaies. As I lay there, feeling her legs against mine, sleep overtakes me and that is how we end this day. 

This day, a day of little weaving in and out of traffic on the Road to Dementia Town, Driver uses His skill to get us to the end of the day safely. To the point that we enjoyed Keeping Our Shiny Side Up. C'ya, Luv Ya, and God Bless.  Arthur.